giving way to intuition i decided to be silent and listen no sense in drawing vague conclusions derived from the depiction of impossible illusions falling into thE pit o(f) me im finally able to clearly see through her bullshit i guess my imagination steered me clear of it-
(to be continued- perhaps)
PAST RELATIONS BUILT ON UNSTABLE FOUNDATIONS
LED TO BLURRED STIPULATIONS OF CROWDED CONTEMPLATIONS
CAUSING MASSIVE REALIZATIONS TO THIS MANIFESTATION
DERIVED FROM LOVE DEPRIVATION HERE I SIT FACIN
DESTRUCTION
TORTURE
TERROR
DOOM
FIGHTING TO OVERCOME
FREEING FROM THE GLOOM
RUNNING FROM THE SHADDOWS
OF THE PAINFUL MEMORIES
THAT CONSTANTLY I BATTLE
WHILE DROPPING LYRICAL MELODIES
time escapes my control and suddenly these words begin to flow
at times i feel so lost im a prisoner of my own thoughts
i feel as though it started when she tragically departed.
i quickly took hold of paper and pen and i wrote the story of how my heart would mend
i spoke of struggles storms and defeat and each time i finished i rose to my feet
i found myself screaming these lyrical spills as i who was once grounded had suddenly fallen head under hills
see im documenting my thoughts as i know in due time i will have forgotten feeling so empty inside.
this void i carry where my heart once resided has grown to a massive hole where my emotions hide in.
at night i find myself a step away from the cliff…the wind is blowing hard and im contemplating…what if
no life is worth taking even when the situation seems too rough
yet years ago i tried…and overcoming the struggle was so tough
i figured my life was worthless and she would never understand…
see the multitude of love i posessed was too vast to comprehend
just thinkin back to those days these tears are knocking at my lids….
but i dare not shed a tear for a bitch who doesn’t deserve them
so in love i was…so in love i am. but i was not in love…with her, NO MA’AM
im documenting my thoughts you see—-cuz it’s almost been three years and im able to successfully admit without the tears….
love is not always painful and tears aren’t always of sadness
cuz my heart was soon filled with love and i became overwhelmed with gladness
HER soul connected to mine and we shared many great times
i felt as though i was flying in the sky each time she kissed me goodbye
the thrills went beyond measure there were no limits to the attempts of giving pleasure
it felt so free to live outside the box and for the moment i forgot being lost-
in the night with noone by my side feeling lonely and confined overwhelmed with fear on my mind…
so see im documenting my thoughts cuz i figure in due time…there will be another who will block the pain from my mind.
today i have decided that i will embrace such a gift…of being loved unconditionally and for you being able to sift
through all my imperfections and my good will outweigh the bad….and from then until the end i will never again be sad
i thank you right now…cuz you’re so heavy on my mind. and though you weren’t here when i thought i was ready…i know you’ll be here ON TIME
